happy anniversary 1 year 5 months

well dalam maseee 50 minit lagii , anniversary kite org :( even though kite orgg daa break , but aku tetapp akan wish dea :'( yeahhh :'] sedihnyaaa laa . hari hari aku hbiskann masaaa nangiss . congrats to mama and my step-sister :) berjayaa buat comot bencii dan salah sangkaa kat akuu :) loveyou damn muchhh okayy !!!!!!


DEAR COMOT , HAPPY ANNIVERSARY 1 YEAR 5 MONTHS :') I KNOW YOU'VE ALREADY FORGET ABOUT ME , ABOUT US AND ABOUT THIS SPECIAL DATE :') OKAYY . ILOVEYOU SO MUCH . BO , BBIE RINDU BO LAA :'( RINDU SGAT SGAT !!!!!! EVEN BBIE TAHU BO TAK RINDU BBIE , IT'S OKAYY :) BO , TAKE CARE AND HAPPY SELALU WITH CAPITAL L AND PENNY OKAY ? DORG BOLEH BUAT BO HAPPY LEBIH DARI BBIE BOLEH OKAY :) SAYANGI LAAAA DORG OKAYY ? BBIE SUPPORT BO DARI BELAKANGG OKAYY ? ILOVEYOU IMISSYOU :( I NEED YOU BUT I KNOW YOU WON'T BE BY MY SIDE ANYMORE :') BOOO :( RINDUUU LAAA :'((( BBIE SAYANGG BOOO !!!!!!!!!

I MISS THIS MOMENT DAMNLY :')
i know we won't be in this moment anymoree :')
bo , iloveyou :)
imissyou :)
sayangg bo sgatt :'(

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i miss her so much !
esok anniversary kite orggg :(
1 year 5 months :'(
sedihhh laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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ceritera hati

hello :) bersama aku lagi kan :) rindu takk ? tak rinduu ? takpee :) okay today already 2 january 2012 . dan aku masih dlam proses pujukk mama bagi tahu comot hal yg sbnrnyaaa :'] esok daa 3 january 2012 , actually daa genap 1 year 5 months :'] sedihh kot :'( tapiii apaa boleh buat . hmm . okayyy aku malas nak update pnjang pnjangg . mate aku letih dan penat cause tadi kann , daa bape harii niee aku nangis jee . tak kiraa tmpat pulak tu aku nangiss . haha . mcam budak budak kan ? aku terlalu rindukan dea :( dea rindukan aku tak ? :'( ermm . status dea semuaaa tak nmpk mca rindu aku ponnnnnnnnnnnn :') byeee

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tell them the truth please : (

hari nie , 01/01/2012 :'] tahun baru penuh dengan kedukaan aku :'] kenapa situasi jadi macam ini ? keadaan terlalu sukar dan susah aku nak fahami . kenapa darah daging sendiri sanggup khianati aku ? khianati kepercayaan aku terhadap mereka semua ? kenapa macam ini ? apa salah aku terhadap mereka ? aku mencuba yang terbaik dan selalu ingin menjaga hati mereka . tapi , kenapa perlu buatkan aku seperti yang salah dalam hal ini ? kenapa mesti aku ? semuanya boleh dibawa berbincang bukan ? kenapa sanggip khianati aku ? kenapa ma ? kenapa lyn ? kalau memang ini jalan untuk kamu semua nak aku berubah just let me know . don't do this such stupid things :'] everyone keeps saying that i'm a liar , heartless :( all the facebookers :( why don't all of you tell them the truth ? even though all of you keep telling me that everything gonna be okay . but , do you see how much i'm suffering of all of this ? ma , why don't you tell her the truth ? she keeps ignoring me , she keeps avoiding me :( ma , tell her :( i can't stand it anymore :'] ma :[ tell them . tell them ma please !!!!!! i'm begging you ma !!!!!!!!!

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haish sgat menyedihkan dan aku rasa nak menangis kat mcd niee skunkk -.- haiyaaa hara haraaaa . ape nak jadii niee :( lupakannnn je laa kan okayy ?


now nak bagi tahuuuu , aku rindu comot :/ tak smpaii hati nakk delete pic niee semuaa kat blog niee kan :/ aku trpkse tukar linkkk . ermm . takpe laaa . hanyaa aku je boleh bacaaa . haha . takpe takpee :'/ stress nie :'( nak menangissss kuat kuatt . tapi tadi legaa nangis dlam tandas kl sentral tuu . HAHAHA


not in mood -.-

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:( sedihnyaaa life aku skunkk niee . sgat menyedihkan dan sgat menyedihkannnnnnnnnn . stress nyaaaa akuuuuuuuuuu :'((((

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haaaa today already 28 DISEMBER 2011 :)
okay smalam aku kimo dan aku give up :) hahaha . yeah i'm dyinggg and comot memang risauuu :'] sorry i just can't do it anymore . sakit ohhh . biarlaaa macam niee :) i'll be okayyyy :) eveything gonna be okayy :) then todayy dea temankan aku :) tadi time on call ,


me : hello , awak nak jadi boyfren saya tak ?
her : *laugh evil*


sumpahh seriously aku memang tak reti nak ngorat orangg . but i'm tryingg <3 okay good night :) 

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and suddenly aku nangis :) yeah i love this feeling :) i'm useless and lifeless okay :) sumpah :( haha . hahahahha :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((( 

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will you miss me like i miss you ?

will you remember me like i do ?

will you love me as i love you more than everything ?

iloveyou baby boo :*

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aku memang takkan berhenti menangis kan malam nie ? terlalu berat dan sukar :( kebahagiaan yang aku nak , kesedihan aku dapat :( aku tak sanggup dan tak larat wei . berat sangat . aku nak buat apa nie ? aku daa buntu gilaa . kenapa mesti dea hadir :'/ ehh aku nie memang FOREVER ALONE !


seriously , aku trtanyaa laa jugak kann . kenapa aku selalu jadi macam nieee :'/ i need you now :'/ tapi masalahnyaa aku tak nak nangis kalau cakap dgan deaaa . deaaa takkan sukaa punyaaaaa okayyyy . then aku nangis la depan lappy nie :'] okay bye . aku takde mood -,-

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afraid of it

huyaaa , tak dpat on call dgan comot dan aku tak tahu patut bagi tahu dea macam manaaa . aku patut bagi tahu awal awal . egt kan dapat on call then , dea penat it's okayyy . now , aku tgh menggelabah nak buat kimoterapi esokkk . yeahh for sure , benda tu rasanyaa menyakitkan :'] dann aku tak sedap hati dan rasa sedih memanjang hari niee . 


then seriously aku macam nak give up dgan semua nie . but , everyone keep tell me to be strong and jgan give up . okayyyy . i'm trying . but day by day i'm dying . okay i'm strong *crying*

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hello :) hara here :) just nak luahkan perasaan nie :'/ can i cry ? haha . tiap malam aku down :'/ hari nie malam ke 5 aku menangis :'/ aku down macam semalam jugakk :) masalah makin bertambah :'] dan aku kena tabahkan macam korang cakap ? but boleh aku bagi tahu yang aku daa give up dari siang tadi ? hahahaha . maybe aku ubah fikiran , maybe takk :'] but seriously 80% aku takkan ubah fikiran :'] aku egt kan , aku dgan dia daa okay . dan aku memang bersemangat nak mengorat dea balik , suddenly tonight everything changed :'( kenapa perlu ada PY :'] kenapaa doe :'( dia cakap kat aku , senang kea nak lupakan lepaskan comot ? korang baru kenal tak smpai 2 minggu kan ? aku dgan comot daa nak dekat 1 YEAR 5 MONTHS , tak fikir kea ? kalau kau dekat tmpat aku PY ,kau sndri akan faham laa :) thanks <3


dear comot , 
i don't know what should i tell you tonight :) i just can cry and cry :) kenapa perlu menangis pasal aku bila aku koma , bile aku give up psal kimo tuu ? kenapa laa bo ? i hope you won't hurt me :'( but tindakan nie , amat menyakitkan but bbie tak marah dan benci kat boo :) rasa sayang masih ada :) but thanks for all :) thanks daa give support kat bbie and i really appreciated it laa bo :) but bbie rasa smpai kat sini jelaa support bo kat bbie :) 


hermm . bnyk nye air mata aku mengalir , haha . masuk dlam telingaa pon adaaa . tgh bareng msti laa air mata mengalir ke tepi then masuk dlam telingaa . hahaha . aku tak nak nangis laa :'( aku tak nak . kenapa nie haraaaa :( semua okay kannn :( jgnlaa nangis :((( aku nie memang forever alone kea :'( jgn laa nangis kau tu tak sihat :)) pendam okay pendam semua nyaa . jgn kuarkan air mata lagiii . 
next week daa 1 year 5 months sepatutnyaa :( aku tak nak jadi mcam tahun lepas lagii :(( sakitlaaa . pedih sgat :( anyone please help me :( 

seriously miss this moment :) love the way you kiss me :*
okay bo , life is so hard kan now ? semua jadi complicated . and bbie tahu semua nie memang susah dan sukar nak tempuh . but i'll be by your side laa bo :) no matter happen until my last breath :)
good night and sweet dreams :) 

takkan aku nak habiskan malam aku menangis  :( seriously aku sedih gilaa . hahahha . 

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 seriously rindu kann bangun tidur , ada orang kat sebelah :) comot selalu bangun dulu then tak reti nak kejut haraa , but even kejapp okay so bahagiaaaa :D hope boleh macam tu lagi :'( rindu sgat bngun pagi , bukak mate ade dea kat sebelahhh  :']

miss this moment :'] rindu laa tersangat sangattt :'( bila nak macam nie lagi pon tak tahu laa . 


dear comot , 
penat kan balik kerjaa ? today bo busy sgat sgat . ramai customer . baguslaa ade rezeki :) alhamdulillah :) egt tu tahu . selalu kena cakap macam tu . bersyukur :) okay malam nie , on call then bo akan tidur :) good night and sweet dreams syangg <3 muahh ! iloveyou baby booo :)) kiss sikit . hahha 

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hmm

i'm so tired :] damn tired . i don't know why but this lately hurmm . okay forget about it . now i'm waiting for her text :'] it's okay i know she's pretty much busy right now . but i'm trying to understand and try to make myself to think positive about her . no need to think negative towards her if i love her right :) okay smile hara and just think that she's busy now and she have lots of customers now :) okay :D 

okay i miss her so much much much now :'( every night i'll on call with her , share all my probs and then i'll cry :] and she will tell me , 
" baby , baby daa laa . jgann nangis okay " 
and i'll stop for a while and continue to cry . HAHAHA :'] stress laaa weyhhh :( hurmm . i hope she won't forget me today , tomorrow and always . could you do like that bo ?
not in mood :'/

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please be nice

already 6.27 o'clock and i didn't sleep yet . no i mean i didn't go to bed back . lately i'm so tired :'/ and many things came and suddenly it make me think WHAT GOING ON ? for those knew what happened to myself , okay just keep your mouth shut okay ? i don't want everyone get knows what is really happen to myself . thanks for all your supporting :) i really appreciate it . time by time , i just keep thinking what gonna happen next . tomorrow , next week , next month , next year or today --' i'm facing a huge problem and complicated situation now . even though i'm keep thinking and tell myself that i'm not strong enough with all kind of things , but with your support i try to be strong as you wish . 


comot , we knew each others at MOKO MOBI right ? social network that can connected by phone and pc/lappy nowadays right ? when for the 1st time , i read all your comment at your ex girlfriend wall , i knew that you're kind tb . and i made my decision to be friend with you . FRIEND ? ohh until the day you asked me to be your girlfriend :) do you still remember of it ? then i agreed and we became a COUPLE as me , myself and you wished of it . time by time i knew that we are in long distance relationship and we always made planned to met with each others right ? until the day we broke up it is because o my fault , i went to JOHORE on OCTOBER 7 , 2011 :) 3 days before your belated birthday . and that was your birthday gift from me :'] thanks for all the memories that i can't even forget until now and forever :) baby boo , a lots of thanks from me to you . thanks for all your support and always by my side even though we're not in official relationship like before but you treat me well just same like we're in official relationship . but i know , i know that i'm not your girlfriend and everyone keep asking me the same question . ARE WE ALREADY GET BACK ? so the answer is , 


WE'RE NOT IN OFFICIAL RELATIONSHIP and for sure comot need her time to think and accept me back . just like she said , she wanted to be with me and i must be by her side so do her :) but until the time come , everything gonna back to normal and we will happy ever after :P hikhok -..- #hancur english aku pagi niee#


but i hope the time will come faster , cause I'M SO SO JEALOUS :'] and i can't stop to think negative with all she doing . okay be positive if you love her hara :) she need time and please be nice and understand her feeling . 
comot , i love you :*

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read :']

okay simptom tu semuaaa aku daaa ade :'/ aku pon daa disahkannn adee penyakitt nieeee :'] 

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i'm doneee

naaa see . baring jelaaa akuu nieee -,-

done edit blog dan aku boleh tidur kottt . terpaksa dgar lagu smpai aku tidurr . aku penat letih . rasa nak menangis skunk pon ade :'/ be strong haraaa . egt org yg always support kauu <3 comottt tu haaa , siapa nak jagaa nanti ? strong okayy . kau baby tomboy dea :) i love you bo :*

pic balik dari hsptal :'] rehat kejap

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awake

aku terjaga dari tidur and now , aku tengah baring smbil online and update blog . lately aku susah nak tidurrr . bukan aku memang susah nak tidur keaaa ? ==' okayy aku tak boleh tidur sebab masalah yg menimpa aku skunkk . erm dugaan , sabarlaa hara okayy . ada hikmah semua nie . now kau kena ikut cakap and nasihat semua oranggg . lagi lagi doktor , family and comot . okayy ? semuanyaaa akan okayy dan kau akan sembuh macam duluu sihat :) insyallah :) then aku pon demam dan sakit kepala sakit perut semuaa adaa  . comot daa tidurrr tak smpai hati aku kejutkan deaa . hmm . dea pon bnyakk masalahh daa laa ipad dea hilangg smlam . babengg siapa curek tu -,- nanti putus tgan kau tahuu mencuri tahu ? >,< ermm terpaksa laa aku tunggu deaa smpai dea bagun . kesian dea aku daa bebankan dea dgan masalah aku nie . aku daa terlampau bnyak menyusahkan life dea kann ? hmm . aku nie beban jee . okay before aku lebih merepek dan meleweh lagiii , baek aku tidurrr . esok nak bgun awal dan wish morning and egtkan comot bawak duet and sweater pegi kerjaaaaaa :) bye semua .

iloveyou baby boo <3

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thing that make me strong and keep smile :) thanks baby boo :)

sedar sedar jee aku tanye pasal amoi yang syiok kat dea :/
jealous punyaa pasal kannn >,<

time nie aku nak gelak tapi tahan jeee .
sakitnyaaa perut hati aku bace text nieee >,< haha

iloveyou sayanggg

apabilaa aku diberikan peluanggg dan akan ku gunakan peluang nie sebaikkk yg mungkinn utk tetap bersama dann aku kena ngorat dea :) for you i will baby boo :*

time dea texting dgan akak aku then time aku sedarrr :*
muahhh sorry buat bo risauuuu :']

legaaaa sikitt :')

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dear friends

hello my dear friends :'] hye hara here :'] hara yg suka update status belambak dan penuhkan new feed korangg kan ? korang mesti tak sukaa kan ? sorry guys lately nie , korang dapat news yg mengejutkan kan ? i didn't mean . family pon takkan tahu until that early of morning :'] hey friends , pray for me okay ? hara nak smbuh macam dulu kalaa no more penyakit penyakit nie . memang dugaan , but dugaan nie terlalu besar for me :) hara tak pernah mintak utk dapat penyakit nie :'] sungguh mengejutkan :'( but i'm trying to fight . hara kan kuat , i'm strong enough actually but i'm too tired ! penat weyh :( sumpah penat . thanks doakan utk hara dan semua semua nyaa okay . thanks yg rajin call , text and tak berhenti doakan . korangg , i'm tired :( hara nak macam korangg . sihat boleh smbung study boleh kerja kan ? why laaa :( kenapaa kan :( hara selalu tertanyaa kenapa semua nie , hara yg dapat . jawapannyaaa Allah nak uji hara kan :'] Allah buat semua nie bagi kite semua nie bersebab kan ? hara masih terkejut dan spechless lagi pasal nie . just doakan hara :( please by my side :) okay boleh kan ? let me have fun and happy for a while kann :DDD hara nak jmpaa korang semuaaaaaaaaa . dan semuaaaa :'] 

dear comot , 

sorry boo :) bo bo bo , don't cry okayy ? be strong okay ? i'm ur baby tomboy laa . thanks laa okayy always by my side time macam niee . i know baby always merepek , actually tu bukan merepek kan ? semua jadii . semua kenyataan :') enjoy ur life and don't forget me :) iloveyou laa sayangg . bbie hope bo boleh jaga bbie for a while but i know you can't do like that :) it's okay baby faham :D thanks :) iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou :)))

hara , baby tomboy :']

hello doakan saya tak perlu kuar msuk hsptal lagi :)

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hara :(

makin melarat :'] Ya Allah , besar betul dugaan nie :'] aku redha . erm . sorry semua buat korang risau ~ hara tak tahu semua jadi mcam nie . the moment , aku tersentap dgan apa yg doctor cakap . aku just boleh fikir family and comot :'( kalau aku pergi nanti , dorang egt aku lagi tak ? aku nak sembuh laa . aku nak sembuh . aku penat macam nie :( aku penat . sembuhkan penyakit aku nie . aku tak tahu akan jadi serious macam nie . aku akan hidup dgan ubat kea seumur hidup aku nie ? or dalam mase yg singkat nie ? aku nak sembuh ! okay ! aku nak sembuh :( sedih teramat sgat aku rase nie memang tak terkataaa . aku daa merasa duduk dlam ICU , aku daa merasa duduk dlam hospital , aku daa merasa kena cucuk jarum , amek darah , masuk darah , opret . daa laa :( sakittt . siapa nak ganti tmpat aku niee ? aku tak nak habiskaannn masaa aku kat hospital :( aku tak nak laaa. aku nak rase jugak hidup macam teenagers laen . dorang dapar kerjaa , dapat smbung belajar :( kalau aku macam nie , macam mane aku nak smbung belajar ? macam manee aku nak kerjaaa ? aku nak macam dorangg jugakkkkkk :']

now  aku kat umahh daa . aku tak nak sakit macam smalam smpai aku kena admit dlam icu :(( ikutkan hati aku tak nak sape pon tahu even familyy aku . egtkan aku boleh simpan nie :( tapi tak bolehh . ermm . 

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akhirnyaa aku daa balik :'] masalah aku makin bertambah . well , menangis laa even perut aku sakit :') okayy dengan tak sengaja berdarah niee . hermm . now aku tgh rest baringg atas katill . lappy atas perutt . rindu my lappy , rindu tilam aku semuaaaaaaa nyaaa . okayyy . 
iloveyou comot :) aku tak larat nak update bnyk bnyk . biarkan aku relax kejapp :) 

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the tears said " thanks hara to let us go and leave you but you will feel more better after this . we promise to you "

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hurt

thanks , masih ada masa and sudi nak IM i okay bo ? iloveyou . and thanks bagi i senyum and happy even kejap je :') take care always :') and remember that iloveyou and imissyou so much :D
and aku sangat tension rase nak menoreh noreh tangan aku nieee . sakit hati tak sesakiti tangan yang cedera :) okay laa . byee 


iloveyou comot :) 

1st morning together kan bo :')
really miss this moment when we're happy together :D

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malam nie aku tak dapat tidur dan aku sangat sangat rindukan comot . tadi kite orang ada IM , dea like status aku then aku senyum dan happy even kejap je then aku spoil mood dea dengan kata kata aku :/ why i'm keep hurting her ? why laa kau nie hara . kau janji kau akan berubah . lol -.- i'm keep asking laa hara . okay seriously , aku tak suka diri aku yang bernama HARA . should i change my name to HELIENA LORNENA ? should i ? ehh hara come on laa . be matured laa . kau nie kenapa laa suka buat dea macam tu ? sayang bukan bermakna dea akan tahan dengan kesakitan yang dea rasa okay ? kenapa time dea ada , kau selalu spoil mood dea ? kau nie daa kenapa hara erk ? okay seriously , aku nak guna nama HELIENA now . aku benci diri aku as HARA yang always sakitkan hati comot , tak pernah nak faham keadaan diri dea , always push dea , always nak maki dan marah dea kalau dea tidur tak bagi tahu while on call -.- SHE'S A HUMAN . eh hara dea pon ade perasaan laa . bukan kau sorang je . aku benci kau hara , aku benci kau . kenapaaa laaa aku sanggup lukakan hati dan perasaan comot macam tu sekali :/ this night she asked me to changed my DP , dea cakap baik baik dan aku balas baik baik yang aku perlukan masa utk semua tu :/ it's too hard for me laa

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haaa hari nie hari ahad :/ dan takde text or call dari dea :') i'm try to smile and laugh again . but my tears flows ~ it's okay it's ur fault made her angry and disappointed with you hara . be strong :'] just be patience okay , like she said she know that one day she will find you after you've changes and she return calmly :') please don't push her hara . you make the situation more worst laa dear :) rindunyaa :/ tahan rindu menebal nie :/ nak cakap sedih tak boleh semua atas salah dan silap aku sendiri kan :'] aku nak keadaan macam dulu :'( happy sweet macam dulu . semua orang pon cakap :'( beratnya dugaan nie :'] bila hati dea nak okay . bila hati dea nak lembut :] menangis lagi . mata aku daa sakit :] pendam semuanyaa tanpa dea kat sisi . even macam tu , dea tetap dekat hati aku :] hari nie , rindu aku dekat dea hm . tak terkata :]

bila hati da rindu , terpaksa tengok video time date dulu kat JB tu :] terpaksa laa lepas rindu dengan semua tu . terpaksa laa peluk cium baju dea :] haa hara be strong be strong :] okay ? promise okay ? hanya tu dapat kurangkan rasa rindu aku dekat dea :'( okay menangis lagi . menangis sambil update blog nie . everyday macam nie laa rutin hidup aku sekarang :/ hari nie aku tak pergi kerjaaa :] kepala aku da pening sakit sangat tak cukup tidur :] 


"menunggu sesuatu yang sangat sulit tuk ku jalani , hidup dalam kesendirian sepi tanpa mu saat kau jauh dia sana :] "  macam lagu aishiteru tu :] dia ingat aku tak ? erm . lagu nie lagu kita orang laa :] masa date tu , dea nyanyikan lagu nie macam dalam video tu :] perlu kea aku tukar lagu blog nie kepada lagu tu ? :'] mungkin akan buat aku lebih menangis dengan lebih teruk kan ? hara chill laa :'D 
menangis dan terus menangis . diri semakin tak terurus pon :'] rindu menebal dekat hati . huhu . apalaa boleh buat . ketawa sendiri , menangis sendiri , bertahan dan bersabar sendiri :] 

dear comot , 
hari nie bbie tunggu bo lagi : ) iloveyou sangat . have fun holiday okay : ) rindu macam kat picture tu :') bangun tidur je ade bo dekat sebelah tengah usik usik bbie :P 

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awak esok dah befday sayaa dah  . awak takde dgan saya pon :( tak dpat nak celebrate same same laaa :( awak cepat laa dtg sini okay ? kita mkan ice cream sesama lagii :P tak pon awak tgok je sayaa makan ice cream dgan comotnye macam mane . hahaha . awak , saya rindu awak laaaaaa :( awak bila saya nak sembuh nie --' saya tak suka laaa macam nie . choyyyy -.- nak sembuh cepat laaaaaa :( awak doakan saya sembuh cepat ye ? dah laaa skunk nie sgat menakutkan bagi sayaa . choyyyy -,- kenapa mesti sayaaa ? tertanya tanya laa saya .

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today of me :]

esok aku daa kerja daaa :) btw , nak cetaaaa , takde ape text pon dari dea :/ and i try to chill :) today dapat ramai kawan girl :) dorang sangat sporting dan sangat menghiburkan hati :) lupakan kesedihan kejap dan chat chat dgan dorangg . but , everytime they asked about you bo . i'm spechless :'( tak sanggup nak jawab :/ mesti menangis . seriously :] today , aku sent mecej kat dea :[ wish morning , suruh jgn lupa makan , take care , happy and have fun holiday , miss her , love her , night and everything :] just hoping she will reply my text . even one text from her will make me smile :] tadi ingatkan dea online , tapi dea just update status je , dea happy :] okay i'm happy too here for you :] haha . hara menipu laagii . tipu diri sendiri lagi bagus dari tipu orang yang kita sayang okay :] bagi aku laa . tadi , time aku online . meleleh air mata sebab one by one asked me about our relationship . thanks yang bagi advice :] thanks a lot yang bagi support :] and insyallah kalau kite orang ada jodoh tak kemana laa . aku perlukan masa nak ubah diri aku supaya faham dea sepenuhnyaaa . aku tak nak bagi dea sakit laagi . sumpah doe . aku menyesal :[ ya allah , berikan aku kekuatan :') 
hara hara hara , aku rindukan dea :] even dea tak call , tak dengar suara dea , aku just boleh tgok video time 1st date kite orang tu :') sumpah sedih . sumpah aku rindu kite orang yang dulu . hari nie , aku habiskan masa aku dalam bilik . aku tak keluar dari bilik except aku pegi toilet je :] seksanyaa perasaan aku :] kenapa laa aku boleh buat silapp nie . hopefully hati dea lembut :'] aku rindu dea :/

dear comot , 


as you wished , i'm trying my best to fulfill what you wanted . i'll try my best to changes everything bad about me :] pray for me and support me please :') i love you boo . i love you so muchh <3 you know how much i love you right ^^ please take care there . don't forget to take your meal okay sayangg ? bo mandi manda kat PD kan today ? so tidur tutup lampu okay ? jangan buka . nanti kulit bo gelap :') makan ubat kalau rasa tak sihat okay sayangg ? :] 
good night laa bo :* sweet dreams . hope i'm in your dream laa :D muahh :* 


lots of love , baby tomboyyy

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i miss her so mcuh :/ didn't get any text from her until now :( please be patience hara . changes yourself first :( kbaii

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Ku Merayu - Chomel

huaaa lagu nie :'( sedih laa haiii .

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spechless

finally , last night we broke up :) i'm very upset and mad to myself not to her . this happened bcause of my bad attituade . just chill and be strong hara :) nothing last forever kan ? like my friend said to me last night what had happened was my mistake . and yeah for sure i admit it . but everyone around me keep told me that everything gonna be okay and i feel the same . she's need time :) she need time to relax . she told me that day , 

just hoping that the day not too long and just be patience waiting that time . be strong hara :) if you and her were meant to be , no need to worry :/ just chill and keep smile to hiding all your sadness :) nothing impossible laa hara . just go on for a while , no need to cry all the time or you will become crazy girl about it . 

yeah i do admit that i never try to understand her . she's working right so after back from work of course laa she's tired . she's need a rest but seriously i never understand her :/ i'm a stupid ! okay serious laa ! she's too tired then her gf made her angry all the time and keep pushed her . no one can stand it la hara . now , i'll put the blame on myself cause it was my fault . i'm not angry actually to her . but little bit sad bcause after was we had being through together , she let me go . but i never let her go . i still keep told her that i can't like usually laa :/ i still remember what pah (my fren) told me last night :/ it was 100% my fault laa . not a understanding person , selfish , keep pushing her :') so pity of you la hara . you always make a mistake :( but seriously , i don't accept she will getting mad like this . 

dear comot , 
i don't know if you read this . but i'll try to changes myself to more better and good as you want . do support me okay :) thanks for all your kindness and loves for 1 year 4 months 2 weeks dear :) i know it's all my fault and i admit it . i just realize it when i'm losing you . do take care and don't forget to take your meal like usually okay ? i do love you more than you love . i don't know if you still loves me cause when i asked you last night , there were no answered given . i know that you were feel upset , mad and broken inside . i know you well :) sorry for everything and i hope you won't forget me even for a while :)


sincerely , baby tomboy :')

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comot told me

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sometimes i feel want to die when keep thinking about it . i don't know why she can changed like this . i guess it . high EGO ! sorry bo , i must to tell this to you . you asked me to changes , and i do it . but see , the situation more worn out -,- please laa bo . can you think about the past ? think what we had been through togehter ? bo , wake up laa sayang . i'm tired already . both of us already tired . can we just start a new life ? can you everr think about it ? bo enough bbie tak sanggup okay ? how many times should i tell you ? bo , you know me well kan :) so please laaa buang ego . i need you . i need the old of you laa bo -,- not the new one . i hate the new one ! the way you treat me ecspecially -.- grr >.< sudahh laa okay sayangg ? i need a good news , not the bad news everyday :( i'm waiting you laa comot :( just likes you told me that day :') always hoping <3

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pendam semuanyaaaaa

try call number comot :/ dapat :( and aku macam erm . aku macam rasa kena tipu . dea tak bagi tahu pon :( aku negative thinking . penat laa nangis :( mate aku daa bengkak :( terseksanyaaa takde siapa yang tahu . seriously aku memang pernah couple dgan org laen , tapi kalau ada masalah tak sakit mcam sekarang nie :( sumpah aku sayang comot :( daah 3 hari :( ehh bo , aku daa tak kuat laa mcam dulu . aku daa lemah tahu tak ? aku dah lemah ? jgn uji aku laa . sumpah bo . elak je -,- mulut hara jaga jangan maki maki tak baik -,- pendam semua pendam ! biar kau sakit jgn comot rasa sakit :'(

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i'm nothing without you

dear bloggy , daa 3 days kite orang macam nie :/ rindu kite org yang dulu . rindu semuanyaa . rindu dea yang dulu yang always ada dengan aku dan selalu ceriakan aku :/ but now , like i said before everything changed T.T 
hmm :'( aku tak sihat pon dea daa takde nak suruh makan ubat , tc , nak ckap iloveu baby tomboy , imissyou and others :/ peritnyaa :'( tolonglaa masa berubah . kembalikan kite org yang dulu :') daa tak sanggup macam nie . fuhhh --' aku habiskan masa aku dengan menangis dan mata aku terlalu sakit sekarang . 
bo :'( bbie merayu jangan laa macam nie :'( hari hari bbie tunggu bo reply IM tu :/ hari hari bbie tunggu bo tukar relationship dari complicated kea married macam dulu :'( hari hari bbie tunggu bo cakap bo saje kenakan bbie macam nie . suka bbie nangis :'( hari hari jugak , bbie tunggu kalau kalau bo dapat call bbie :'( bo cakap hari tu bo nak beli handphone biase pon takpe . kita dapat contac :'( tapiii , hmm . semua bayangan je bo . daa petang daa pon :'( takde berita baik pun :( macam laaa aku curang dengan kau bo kau hukum aku mcam nie sekali :(  
bo , ingat selalu , bbie sayang bo sangat sangat :) :* muahh 
bbie selalu tunggu bo mcam biase :D 


sincerely , baby tomboy

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complicated :/

yaw yaw whatssup :/ dari semalam tak tidur , tahan sakit kepala yg tak tertahan nie :/ then pagi mama bawak pegi jmpe doktor . kat hsptal arunamari tu :/ dea tanye aku diet kea ? haha . then aku cakap a'ah . nak kurus . pakwe tak suka saya gemuk :) doktor tu gelakk . so aku pon gelak . dapat ubat tuk migrain and demam . terima kasih . then balik tu , tidur kejap daa smpai rumah menghadap lappy dan teruskan carek bilik sewaa :/ dan menangis ~ HAHA .rutin harian aku sekarang adalah menangis sebab aku tak tahan hadapi sorg sorg :') perlukan dea tapi dea jauh dan tak pedulikan aku daa :/ 
i'm wondering aku nie apa :'( lepas semua dan semua , tinggalkan aku macam tu je :/ daa dapat madu , hilang manis buang la kan . daa takde rasa pon :| menangis dan menangis . rupanya air mata kita nie takkan kering sampai laa kita mati kan ? baru aku tahu . huaaaa . 
okayy benda tu daa datang balik tahu ? ehh aku tak ganggu kau pon -.- patut aku tak sihat je --' go away laa , i'm not urs personal owner laa . takutnyaa laa aku . mana ada aku pergi tmpat kau daa ? kenapa mesti aku --' memang aku kena hntar kau kea ?
tolonglaa , jangan serabutkan kepala otak aku yg ada migrain nie -,- sakitt laaaaa :'( rindu rindu :'( penatnyaa menangis , aku tak nak nangis , aku nak pretending nothing happened tahu . but , i tak boleh :( memang boleh but kejap je then menangis balik . kenapa laa aku cengeng sgat nie haiiii :/ 

family semakin tak pedulikan aku nampaknyaa . apa salah aku pon tak tahu . sebab mama marah aku kea tanpa sebab tu  :( alone hara . you're alone :/ just accept it haraa . be strong :') everything gonna be okay if kau ubah perangai . tengah ubah kan ? rindu macam mane , sakit macam mane baca status dea , tahan laa :) daa syang kan , kau takkan rasa sakit mana sangat . keep trying to changes urself . rindu tgok picture or semua video korang balik :/  tak dapat cakap dengan dea , sekurang kurangnyaa dapat dengar suara dea lagi kan ? hara hara hara , gadis periang kini menjadi gadis yg selalu bersedih :') chill hara :) try not to think and try to chill :) banyak benda boleh buat kan :( 

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textttt

her text make me smile for a while this morning :')


-- ='( iloveusyg [11.17am , 10 october 2011]aku balik klangg after spend time with her at jb


-- rindu jugak . gerak kol bpe? bpe org je ue?='] [11.20am , 10 oct 2011]


-- haha jgn lah mjok syg. haha [05.42pm ,16 oct 2011]


-- iloveu3456 . haha [08.02pm , 16 oct 2011]


-- amboi bo lagy rindu semuanya tahu [11.01pm , 21 oct 2011]


-- alolo owmelnye ieye majok.haha [09.31am , 22 oct 2011]


-- tak syg aku. aku pon perasaan mcm dye aku pon tak syg dye. hahahaha kata sehati sejiwa so perasaan pon kena sama. hahaha [03.21pm , 22 oct 2011]


--bo ngah cas phone syg.ILOVEYOU! INGAT BO TAU JGN LUPE KAT BO K. KLAW BO BUSY EMUUHH MISSYOU BABE [12.20pm , 27 oct 2011]


-- iloveyutu. muah g kolah hati hati k.syg. muahmuahh belajar rajin3 [06.20am , 03 nov 2011]


-- abis kredt dah low nak wt cam ne baby nie . haha bo lagy rindu kt baby. . dah mkan ?kat ne ? demam flu dah oke ? [05.05pm , 03 nov 2011]


-- nampk jalan ke klang i misyou [03.58am , 05 nov 2011]


-- bbie , ape bbie rasa bpe hari nie bo jarang layan bbie [07.12pm , 07 nov 2011]


-- bbie tak jaga bo hari nie. . sihat je [08.57pm , 25 nov 2011]


-- sory.iloveyou. . oke bo akui salah bo [01.21pm , 04 dis 2011]


-- oke you ! hehe you ! i syang you :) [11.00pm , 12 dis 2011 ( 4 days before this :(((( ]


-- hapybufday syang yg ke 18. bo doakan bbie sehat selalu ieye biar ape pon trjdik bbie be strong. ganas ! haha ag bo doakan agar hubungan kita kekal syg n bbie bhagia dsamping orang trsyg. gudluck tok exam . muahmuahmuah 4321 iloveyou ! sory xleh celebrate befday awak cyg [ 12.04am , 20 oct 2011]


-- hapy anyvesry babe muah . . otp kyte talk3 k. ngee [12.00am , 03 nov 2011] 

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for you and mom

finally comot tukar relationship kite orang dari MARRIED to COMPLICATED :( ya allah , nak gugur jantung aku masa tu . aku tak tahu apa pon . she suddenly changed it . IM aku pon tak reply :( malah , dea tak call aku langsung . rindunya aku dekat dea . now daa kul 5 pagi . aku langsung tak boleh tidur . semua budak fb , keep asking the same questions and aku just bagi tahu it's my fault . kenapa kenapa ? hara kenapa dengan kau nie :( dea takdee baru kau nak sedar silap kau . come on hara matang laa weyhhh . berubah atau kau akan kehilangan dea haraa . kau tak nak kan :( tolong aku untuk berubah macam yang dea nak :') i'm so tired now . aku tak larat nak menangis lagi :/ rindunyee dekat dea :'( rindu yang teramat sangat :'( terseksanyaa laa :( rindunyaa laa . kalau tak gaduh , takde macam nie . happy je . dapat otp :( dapat skype :( menangis tak henti aku tadi :( bo , bbie rindu bo laa . huhu . bo rindu bbie tak ? :'( hmm


tadi time comot tukar relationship tu , aku ketuk bilik mama . nasib baik mama bangun lagi :/ then aku ajak mama pegi bilik and i'm crying :( aku tak tahan daa . aku memang perlukan someone . biase comot orang tu , but now changed :') mama tanya kenapa dan apa jadi :'( i just can cried . smpai mama risau then mama hmpir kena heart attack :'( mama , sorry :( ayang buat mama risau . 
one more thing , mama suruh aku berdikari dan carek life aku sendiri . mama kata suka hati aku laa . then aku rase aku akan move to pasir gudang , johor and kerja kat sane insyallah . hope comot nak tolong carekkan tmpat tinggal and kerja kat sane :') after that i'll continue my study pulak kat kfch tu . comot :( miss her ~ miss her so much ! jadi gila pon boleh :/ i miss her : ( dea tahu kea tak erk aku rindukan dea :( okay mesti dea tahu . jangan negative thinking hara :) dea sayang kau tu , tu psal dea nak kau berubah . berubah okay ? promise okay :) :* 


okay enough :( makin menangis aku dibuatnya . pape pon hope comot mimpikan aku :') iloveyou iloveyou iloveyou !

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lembutkan laa hati comot :'( aku buntu tak tahu nak buat apa sekarang . daa jadi baru nak menyesal . air mata tak henti henti mengalir :') menangis dan terus menangis . sayang betul kan kau hara dekat dea ? sayang sangat sangat laaa :/ kalau tak takde aku pertahankan . 


to comot :
bo :'( bbie mintak maaf :( bo jangan laa ignore bbie macam nie :( bbie tak nak nangis lagi . bbie tak nak :'( kenapa bo buat macam nie sekali :( bo , bbie penat macam nie . bbie tak nak gaduh lagi :( sakit sangat :( mungkin lagi sakit dari apa yg bo rasa :( bo , bbie tak lari rumah pon macam bo suruh . bbie still duduk dekat sini lagi . bo , dugaan tak sudah sudah datangg . bo ! jadilaa bo yg dulu . bo yg bbie jmpe 07.10.2011 hari tu :'( bbie rindu bo yang tu . bukan sekarang :( bbie rindu nak dgr bo cakap dgan bbie . berbual sama . bo nasihat bbie . gelak same same . skype dgan bo :'(

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ST12 - Aku Terjatuh (lirik)

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i miss comot ~

15/12/2011  


konklusinyaa , hari yang malang buat aku :( comot memang tak layan aku daa :/ it's okay salah aku . aku terima walaupun sakit . aku ingat nak pegi jb next week . amin amin amin . hope esok aku dapat kuar dan beli tiket :/ smbil tu , aku nak carek something kat sane . hopefully dapat kan :( aku rindu dea laa :'( non-stop crying dari tadi . ouh hara sangat jahat haiyooo comot daa ignore haiyoo :/ lifeless aku macam nie . boleh jadi jugak . aku nak pertahankan hubungan nie ~ kenapa perlu aku kena dugaan nie ? :'( aku daa tak kuat macam dulu lagi . now hara seorang yang lemah :/ tunggu dari tadi , dea tak tegur pon . tunggu dea call , mane tahu dapat curek curek phone mama dea kea :( takde pon . takpee laa hara . dugaan . sabar okay ? hara stop laa nangis :( stop laa enough laa :( 
haraa , harago go ! chill and smile :) 
damn ! rindu dea sgat sgat . now aku daa bercakap dengan baju dea :( tgok video :( huahuahua . hara si cengeng makin tak tahan daa . menangis dan teruskan menangis melegakan apa yang dirasa :) 
perlukan comot :( takpe laa hara . baju dea kan ade :') anggap je tu comot . baju dea jugak kan kan kan :D haraaaa , please ingat jangan buat benda bodoh okay -.- sakit tahu -.- even tak sakit macam hati tu . tapi sakit laa :') daa hara . enough for today :) cium peluk baju comot je senang :P

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:'(

sakit . okay sangat sakit . sakit dan sakit dan sakit hara :( hara sangat rasa sakit dan down :( okay aku tak tahu kenapa , aku akan semakin dilupakan . yeah aku akan semakin dilupakan :') no more comot , no more heaylienaz :') okay nangis laa puas puas haraa . nangis laa takde siapa pon yang tahu . nangis laa puas puas -,- MENANGIS PUAS PUAS . hahaha . okay daa ade nak buat kerja bodoh nie -,- tahan jelaa . dari hari tu aku nak buat . sabar haarrraaa . dugaan . comot kata sama sama sabar :) 
okay enough ! aku daa rasa sgat bodoh dan marah dekat diri sendiri now . bapak down sgat sgat sgat :'( menangis jelaa hara . kau daa takde jalan laen daa . shit ! langsung tak boleh fikir ape sekarang :( i need somebody now :( comot takde kat sisi aku :( okay honestly aku daa tak kuat macam dulu :'( everything changed now . 
okay hara , berhenti menangis . erm . aku rase sangat lemah dan sakit kepala :/ 

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hara seorang yanggg

ketahuilaa saya seorang yang :


*teruk
*suka kacau orang
*suka sakitkan hati orang 
*suka membebel
*suka maki hamun orang
*seorang yg bukan penyabar
*mulut celupar
*selfish !
*dan semua bad attituade saya ada . awak ada ? takde diam . kbaii

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it's not the end

the moment comot asked me to let her go , i just can told her that i can't :') muka tak malu kan aku nie ? orang daa tak nak nak pakse pakse . so i'm always like that tak sanggup kehilangan . she needs time , and me too actually . but aku tak nak laa rase kehilangan sangat . aku confused apa maksud let her go actually ? --' okay jangan fikir hara jangan nangis . comot tertekan dan muak dengan perangai kau tu . okay try to chill hara . sabar bawa kebaikan ingat kan comot selalu ckap mcam tu ? :) okay now , saya berjanji and BERSUMPAH , akan bersungguh sungguh mengubah bad attituade nie :) comot doesn't like it okay ! hara kau sayang dea , ubah perangai kau demi dea . demi diri sendiri dan orang lain . i promise it and i'll do it . macam biase laa . lambat or cepat janji aku tunaikan . she will come back to me after aku fully changes okay . so hara chaiyok chaiyok ! you can ! you can do it . jangan kusut dan sulitkan keadaan okay ? comot need to see the new of hara yang tak suka maki maki marah marah dea . dulu daa berubah kenapa datang balik nie --' daa daa , doakan hati comot lembut . and hope dea pon rindu aku :/ okay again muka tak maluu lagi . 

dear comot .
you know i love you . i need you know . i'm in trouble . even kita tak dpat contact kat phone sebab ur phone daa berkecai , just wanna let you know , keep ur memory card in safely double triple place okay ?   
ur phone yg daa berkecai jangan buang , cause i need to do something with it when kita jumpaa . i'll tell you later maybe you don't even think about it kan ? sayangg , let's stop all of this and start a new life together :P cewaahh ayat longkang daa nie . okay i'm serious now . tak main main daa . kita tak contact nie , make me miss you more than you miss me , if you really miss me laa kan . so , i daa merepek now sayang . okay comot , tak contact dengan you kan bo , baru bbie sedar , macam nie laaa akibatnya kalau bad attituade , no ones like kan . okay comot , bbie tak tahu nak cakap ape ,segalanya telah terluah . but i hope , bo sihat always okay ? don't cry because of me , just let me cry because of you . i love you baby monkey <3 muah :*

sincerely , baby tomboy 

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scc , imy

huaa tak boleh contact pon :( phone dea daa berkecai jatuh -,- fb ?  don't know if dea online . chill hara :) senyum sorang sorang ye :) dea busyyy . okay i miss you :( *sigh

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dear bloggy :)

malam nie hara sangat sunyi dan sepi . why laa ? sebab one day terasa diri nie kena abai . so poor on me kan ? it's okay laa . macam tak pernah macam nie kan . dulu coup with someone just boleh contact 2 days sebab dea budak asrama . HAHA . nie pulak kan baru berapa jam tak texting dengan comot . takpee . chill hara :) eveything gonna be okay kalau kau pretending nothing happened kan :) pendam semua hara macam semalam :) pendam semua . everything . no need to fight with comot :) korang masing masing daa tawar hati :) hubungan pun already tergantung . so , what next ? 
what happen next hara terima je . now kau pasrah ~ sumpah pasrah :) sakit macam mane aku telan sendiri . better kan dari aku gaduh dengan comot je :/ headache laa -,- satu masalah , satu masalah -,- now my phone already rosak -,- screen pecah dgan ic dea kea ape -,- rm 180 . mama suruh repair dgan duit sendiri :( kesian kesian . tension -,- kawan satu hal . please laa tekanan go away -,- huhhh 

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bila dea memilih utk gantung hubungan

kami daa ikut haluan masing masing :') comot wanted it . 
hubungan kami gantung :') comot also wanted it .

 :') ikut haluan masing masing daa kite orang :(

hubungan daa gantung :') aku menahan tak nak cakap benda tu kat dea . and aku harap dea pon same but , HAHAHA dea mintak :) 

be careful i'm sweet talker tahu ? and dea daa muak :) seriously aku tawar hati :) 

and the ending is this :') i'm damn happy about it . thanks comot :)) 

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seharian bad mood

okay this day sumpah , hari yang menyakitkan hati bagi aku . i try to cheer up but it seems nothing laa . tak dapat apa pon . omg -.- FUCK FUCK FUCK ! benci laa macam nie . ignore ignore each other -,- ohhh aku tak tahu nak cakap ape lagi . tapi sumpah aku daa naek bosan . seriously , aku tak tipu nie . aku daa bosan bosan bosan nie -,- twit fb semua bosan ~ help me help me help me ! okay aku stress dan rasa nak menangis :) senyumm sikit hara :)) 

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she's changed her password :) and aku hilang kepercayaan dekat dia :) seriously , aku sayang dea . but aku dah tawar hati :( 

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dear comot :)

dear comot :') 


the moment the same things always happened and always repeated , don't let me change myself :) jangan buat aku tawar hati sayangg :) aku daa banyak sangat terluka :) even though i'm keep telling myself that i can and i'm strong . but everything seems nothing when this time , i just can say that i can't and i'm not strong enough . i can't be patience with all of this anymore :) sorry :) some mistake can be forgotten and forgiven but there some that we can't do that . i don't know why , but seriously i feel like in a empty dark room where there i'm alone inside waiting for someone to help me out from there and give me some light to lighting up my soul and myself :') with all that we've been through together sorry for this time , i just can't handle it by myself . sorry again :) if you wish to do some kinda bullshit things , go ahead :) i'm okay with that even it's hurt me . as long as you happy in your own way :) i'll be fine with it . trust me . only this that i can tell you this time . 

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me and comot :D

text between me and comot . tersenyum aku baca balik text nie . kenapaa ? sebab daa lame kite orang tak pernah gunaa " I and YOU " hehe . sayangg sayanggg <3 you drive me crazy laa sayangg . 


comot : syang nt mlam saya call k. heliena . haha


me : haha . skema benar ayat awak sayang . kan erna ?


comot : ieye heliena . haha geget kang. bbie, bbie jangan lah show name sebenar lagy . d: grr


me : haha . show name sebenar siapa ?? you geget i , i geget you balik tahu ? :P


comot : name i lah you . i tak suke lah you .

me :bile mase i show name you pulak ? =='


comot : i ckap he . ish you nie.


me :i daa lame tak show name you okay ? i hempuk you baru tahu . you kat mane nie ? daa smpai rumah tak ?


comot : i kat dalam kereta la syg . hehe.


me : ohh . hati hati tahu ? you daa smpai you bagi tahu jugak okay syg ?


comot : oke you . hehe you ! i syang you :)


me : i pon sayang you jugak . lebih dari you syang i tahu :P 

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suka tak ? LIKE lah sayangg

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last day together :)

p/s :
take care korangg :) i love you . bagi yg dekat tu memang laa boleh jumpaa lagi but yg jauh must wait until march lol -,-

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suka tak ? LIKE lah sayangg

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